Gate 10 – The Gate of Self Love

Shadow: Self-Obsession

At the shadow level of Gate 10, there’s a tendency to focus excessively on the self—your identity, your uniqueness, your journey. It can lead to an obsession with how you appear to others and what makes you “special.” This fixation can block you from truly understanding who you are because you are caught up in the fear of losing your individuality. You might find yourself only seeing flaws in others, projecting what you wish you could change about yourself onto them.

Practical example: You might notice yourself feeling frustrated with people around you because they don’t “get” you or your uniqueness. Instead of embracing the different perspectives others bring, you may feel irritated or disconnected because you’re wrapped up in your own desire for recognition or validation. This energy can create distance in relationships, as the focus remains on what you lack rather than appreciating what others offer.

Repressive Nature: Self-Denying
When the energy turns inward in a repressive form, it manifests as self-denial. In this state, you focus so much on others that you neglect your own needs and desires. There may be a tendency to live life for other people, sacrificing your well-being for the sake of others’ happiness or approval. The root cause is a lack of self-love, making it hard to recognise the divine within yourself.

Practical example: You might be the person who says yes to everything and everyone, even when it’s not in alignment with what you truly want. You might avoid asking for what you need or become overly involved in other people’s problems at the expense of your own health and happiness.

Reactive Nature: Narcissistic
On the other end, when the energy is expressed reactively, it turns into narcissism. In this state, there’s an extreme focus on the self, disregarding others’ feelings, needs, and experiences. This behavior often stems from an underlying fear of being misunderstood or losing one’s identity. This creates a belief that others are obstacles in your quest for self-realization. The result is an inward-focused, defensive energy that becomes disconnected from the broader reality of relationships and interactions.

Practical example: You might find yourself easily irritated or defensive when someone challenges your ideas or when you feel like someone is limiting your ability to express yourself. There’s a sense that others are out to stop you from being “you,” which can cause conflict in your relationships.

Gift: Naturalness
The gift of Gate 10 is “Naturalness”—the ability to express your unique essence effortlessly. When you release the tension around finding your identity, you begin to embody your true self without effort. There’s no need to “find” yourself or prove your uniqueness because it’s already there. This energy is about surrendering to who you are and allowing your creativity and playfulness to flow naturally.

Practical example: Imagine you are in a space where you’re not trying to fit into anyone’s expectations. You simply show up as you are, and because of that, others can see and feel your authentic energy. Whether you’re working, socializing, or creating, your expression becomes fluid and natural—people are drawn to your genuine energy without you needing to force anything.

Siddhi: Being
At the Siddhi level, you experience pure Being—united with everything, without the need to define or identify yourself. It’s a state of consciousness where there is no self or not-self, no purpose, or meaning to pursue because you recognize that you are the universe itself. The energy of Gate 10, at its highest expression, is the embodiment of love itself. In this state, there is no need to search for identity because you are everything that is, and everything simply flows through you as love.

Practical example: This is about letting go of all labels and expectations. You might spend time in silence, meditating, or simply being with yourself in nature, allowing your sense of identity to dissolve. It’s the state of simply being, where the worries of who you “should” be fall away, and you can just exist in pure love and awareness of the present moment.

Implementation in Daily Life:

1. Self-awareness practices: Start by noticing when you are feeling overly obsessed with defining or proving your identity. Whether it’s through social media or interactions with others, pause and check in—are you trying to be something you’re not? Bring awareness to those moments and allow yourself to release the need for validation.

2. Cultivate self-love: Spend time each day appreciating what makes you unique. Acknowledge your body, your thoughts, and your gifts without trying to change them. You could journal about what you love about yourself or meditate on your personal qualities that make you feel proud.

3. Be present in relationships: Notice when you’re leaning too far into self-denial or narcissism. If you find yourself people-pleasing, gently shift back to recognising your own needs. If you catch yourself projecting your fears onto others, take a moment to check in with your own emotional state and re-center.

4. Allow creativity to flow: Create something without the need for it to be “perfect” or “important.” Let it just be fun. Whether it’s painting, writing, dancing, or even cooking, the focus is on joy and self-expression, not on achieving a particular outcome. This can be a great way to tap into the gift of naturalness.

5. Practice being: Set aside moments to simply exist. This could be a daily meditation practice or a time where you do nothing—no thinking, no doing—just being. Let go of the need to figure everything out and trust that your true essence will reveal itself in its own time.

By embracing the energy of Gate 10, you invite a natural flow of authenticity into your life, where self-acceptance and love for who you are become the foundation for everything you do.